sadness has somehow become my default emotion.
i wish i could just sleep and never wake up.
i wish i could just disappear into thin air so no one can see me.

Past.

I love to look back at the old pictures, reminisce the good ‘ol days (precisely during foundation) I used to have. I hate to admit it, but somehow the past makes me happy.  Thinking ‘bout it keeps me going, despite the hard time I have to go through. The present? Not so much. Maybe that’s how we roll in adulthood. Speaking of which, I’m on my way to 21. Damn. I have not realized that my foundation year was three years ago.  

When I was little, I always wonder why most of the adults looked unhappy almost every day. Their face was filled with emptiness, sorrow, and sometimes agitation. But now I know. I understand. I hope I can be happier though. If growing up means losing my happiness, then I would rather be forever 21 (pun intended!).

Anyway, this entry was made to show the vibrant side of me, when I was genuinely happy (also, my face is so annoying in all pictures I feel like punching it) so brace yourself!

Beautiful friends.

Amagaaa, so annoying I can't even! HAHA.

Why did I smile like that ugh -.-

Strong enough to beat yo ass.

Dinner Asasi.

End of Asasi.

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End of this entry. Thanks for bringing colours in my life.

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Thanks for reading.

The birth giver.

This post is probably a bit late but wtv. 

A special dedication to a woman who had carried me in her womb for 9 months, who had brought me to this world without having the slightest idea how I would become as I grow bigger, who had raised me so well with sufficient knowledge (and foods :P), whose patience is wearing thin sometimes cuz of my stubbornness (and laziness XD), whom I share clothes (and shoes) with, who knows how much I love books and never reluctant to buy me some, who becomes my second voice when I don't have the boldness to speak up to dad, who cooks the best food and bakes the best cake, who loves Running Man as much as I do, who nags at me when I don't do the laundry, or when I wake up at midday, who always paid a visit when I was still in boarding school, who always find our lost stuffs in the labyrinth of mess, who helps Dedek to do her artworks, who knows almost everything, who will say "It's okay, I'll eat the leftover" when our meals are not enough for everyone, whose prayer is the most efficacious in the world, and above all; whom I love very much.

Happy Mother's Day, mak. Sorry for all the wrongdoings I have made, and thank you for putting up with me <3

p/s: This entry is specially for my mum but I don't feel like showing it to her (cuz I'm shy shy cat liddat).